Updated: Aug 7, 2022
Guns. Tasers. Speaking with repair men. Get the tire patched sis. Air it up. Long hair. Short hair. Weave it. Braid it up. Wow it in. Throw it on. Lashes. No lashes. Make up or nah. Nails or nah. Shake it fast. I can’t. Figure it out. Mane my knee.
This is where my mind has been for the past week. The pressure to be perfect in an imperfect world is quite pressing. The world screams at us who we should attempt to be but deep in myself I feel good walking the simple road. Not only do I feel good. I look good. But then there’s THAT thought. Will a guy like me like this? I get dressed for bed each night and I stare in the mirror to make sure I’m cool with what I see. Then there’s THAT thought again. Will he like me like this? The world shows us daily what men desire and like. But when I look in the mirror I can’t say I see all of that. What I DO see is a ton of dopeness and intellect. I see talent. I see an educated black woman. I see a prayer warrior. I see a woman with a gentle, loving heart. Then there’s THAT thought again with a little extra. Is that enough? Is what I am, who I am, and what I have to offer enough? These are questions that plague the mind of the “regular” black woman on a daily basis. But are we that “regular”? Are we still desired by our black counterparts?
Oh and let’s not forget that there is the job to yet remain as feminine possible while dealing with thoughts of the world and being a single black woman. How do we balance it all. How do we be apart of a world that is definitely not the world we grew up in? How do we hold on to our true selves while seeing what we “think” men want? Thin waists, thick on the bass, and absolutely beautiful in the face. That’s what we think, right?
The only word I have for you sis is that you have to get comfortable being unapologetically you. You have to affirm yourself to high levels of confidence that are so overwhelming that it oozes everywhere and becomes so contagious that no one can even deny. More than anything we legit gotta believe that we were chosen by God before the world was even made. That chosen means chosen for the career, chosen for the particular life you desire, chosen for a specific man and so much more. You are chosen!!! So don’t be consumed by all that you see around you. Simply KNOW and BE.
“In Christ, he chose us before the world was made. He chose us in love to be his holy people—people who could stand before him without any fault.”
Ephesians 1:4 ERV