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Gotdammit Bri!
Bri, noooo!
Bri, just take a second!
Bri, don’t ask them. They don’t know!
Awwww damn.
If you don’t know who Bri is then you need to get into Sweet Life on HBO Max. It is a reality show in its second season produced by Issa Rae. The show covers the lives of a young friend group navigating their relationships and goals. It didn’t take much for me to get hooked on the show. One night after work I decided to turn on an episode while I finished my admin work for my class. Well, let’s just say I didn’t go to sleep until 4am trying to finish the episodes that were available at the time. So, let’s just say that I am a bit invested.
As the second season began, I was really interested in the development of Bri’s character since they had last been filming. Season 1 had proven to be a bit tough for her in the romance area. She had been pursued by one of the guys who is no longer on the show. He is already well into his career and seemed to really like her. That is, until she decided to love him out loud. I literally still want to vomit in my mouth with how he told her to turn down a little in front of the group as though he had not heavily…and I mean heavily…pursued her.
I was able to empathize with her immediately; the embarrassment, the confusion, the deflation. If you have followed any of my earlier blogs, I recant my own moment like this. It’s not good. So naturally, I bled for Bri when she was shut down by the guy in Season 1. And just like a good woman, Bri didn’t stay down long. She didn’t sulk for long. She started to date again and we met Patiri. They went on this super amazing date. He was attentive and affirming and that is exactly what Bri needed in that moment. None of us knew if their connection would go far since they lived on opposite sides of the country, but for that moment; Bri was redeemed from the embarrassment of her love story that was nipped in the bud.
Season 2 comes and hot damn, there’s Patiri still in Bri’s life. It’s not the ideal situation because the distance is still a thing, but there’s a vibe. Patiri eventually wants to give the relationship a try. He is very sure of what he wants although Bri has some concerns because his communication isn’t the best when they’re not together. She told him she needed more effort.
So he flies to LA with flowers and gifts her plane tickets in front of her friends for her to come visit him in NY. Maybe I don’t require enough in my own shit cause I was blown away by the amount of effort that I saw. Long story short, she sent his ass trecking back home after consulting with her friends and deciding that he hadn’t done enough.
I would urge you to watch it yourself. The blog would get too long for me to highlight every single detail. The one thought that immediately hit me was that in Season 1, when she went all in with the other guy…he shut her down. I believe with everything in me that she is fearful to allow herself to rest in someone’s love because what happened before just may happen again. I believe she went to the friends who she knew would downplay Patiri’s grand gesture because she purposely did not seek the advice of the friend who had already told her that she was sabotaging the relationship. I believe she wanted to get the hell out of what could have been great before he snatched it away.
I was so mad at Bri.
But I understand her so much.
Because I have been Bri. I’ve looked for reasons for why something won’t work because I don’t want the past to repeat itself. I have gone to friends who I knew would have nothing good to say in my situation. And it takes a level of healing and confidence to be restored in order to not let past experiences seep into something fresh.
When Jesus called Lazarus from the grave, he also called him out of the old clothes. Many of us are out of old hurt but still carry the stench of death from it. Today I urge you to middle finger the past. Even if the thoughts linger. Give it a fresh middle finger everyday. Because who really wants to ruin something great because you’re living in past disappointment.
Until that man has proven himself to be a F*** nigga. Don’t treat him like one. Amen. lol